Intimate relationships nourish body, mind and spirit. They warm the soul and soften the heart. The quality of these relationships says a lot about the quality of our lives and our health, and reflects back to us what we need to learn-how to have more patience, be without judgment and essentially to love ourselves unconditionally. It is a mirror effect. We give what we are.
Some relationships are very difficult, while others flow effortlessly and perhaps some are a little of both. The level of conflict in each relationship is a good indicator as to how much inner work has been accomplished and what areas still need more attention individually, as a couple, in friendship, in physical family and in spiritual groups.
Heart centered relationships are an exchange of authentic feelings and sometimes it takes spewing a lot of feelings to get to that inner space of being okay with self to be okay with others. Oftentimes, we choose to suffer intensely and even put up with all sorts of abuses before we ever experience right relationship. The amount of abuse we allow from others is correlative to the amount of abuse we accept from ourselves, if not more. Loving ourselves is the key to authentically loving others.
No matter where we are, we can always strive for cooperation as an effortlessness and harmonious exchange of feelings, words, ideas, and actions that are complimentary and supportive to the spirit within us. Cooperation softens the blows of life instead of adding to harshness and unnecessary conflict.
In assessing our relationships, we can view them much in the same way we would our wardrobe. For instance, we pick and choose to keep what fits or is sentimental or meaningful. Equally, we let go of what no longer fits, is old, or out of style. Even though people are not to be discarded like clothes or traded in for a newer model, the point is to let go of those relationships that do not wear well on us because they are not fulfilling, cause us pain, are imbalanced, or even lack boundaries. Sometimes relationships require space for renewal and return building new love, but some never do. If they are dour and bring a dark light upon us, their color is not the right shade for right relationship.
Out of our circle of friends/acquaintances, we find people from our past that no longer have a place in our present for whatever reason, while others we may wish to know better. Therefore, we let go of those who no longer fit our current self, or reach out to spend more time with those we would like to share with, and strengthen current relationships that are fulfilling us.
Whoever these people are that we share our love and appreciation for always tell them how special they are. This gladdens everyone’s heart.