unprocessed childhood wounds

“No great improvements in the lot of mankind are possible, until a great change takes place in the fundamental constitution of their modes of thought.” -John Stuart Mill

“When will we stop rebelling against our emotional pain?” is a question we might ask our selves. The amount of self-hatred we carry for our selves reflects our self-destructive host of addictions that shuts down of our sensory capacity asphyxiating our human life force.

When we deny the essence of our essential self and function from an ego-based perspective, we deny ourselves the gift of healing, of growth and of creation through our evolving senses. When we are bound in the fearful egos conflicts and contradictions we create a contagion of friction with our essential self or soul that diminishes our life force and our intuitive sense of the universe. We close off the capacity to listen to our essential self and the world creating sensory obstruction. This process of self-denial is what I have coined, “The Vicious Cycle of Addictive Consciousness.”

The primary focus of ego, as the gatekeeper of the physical body is survival at all costs and as such creates resistance to save us rather than hurt us. It believes that too much physical and/or emotional pain can cause both the body and it to die so that is uses fear as its primary form of communication and main tool to keep us alive. This modus operandi conflicts with the direct will of the soul creating sensory obstruction. On a physical level sensory obstruction impedes the flow of vital life energy congesting the body producing dis-ease. On an emotional level it results in inhibitions and exhibitions that cover the authenticity in our feeling nature. On the soul level it is the obscuration of intelligent response to incoming and outgoing energies that is a potent agent of cohesion and integration.

Following the Law of Attraction that energy follows thought in the focus of our attention, whichever inner body is the strongest, that is, our mental, physical, and emotional or Spiritual, controls the action of the human vehicle like an automaton on the physical plane. For example, if our thoughts dominate how much we lack love in life and are concerned with what we must do to get it, our point of focus would be held within the emotional realms of the astral plane. If our attention is towards personality integration with our Soul to gain psychological freedom and to bring harmony through conflict in our lives, our point of focus is upon the Spiritual realm.

When we resist on any level, we deny and when we deny we avoid noticing something that might disturb us obscuring our emotional patterns. We create avoidance by distracting our attention from the confusing welter of emotions that offer valuable insights into our emotional episodes often lingering from our unprocessed childhood wounds. The longer we obscure our emotional patterns, resisting the attention and release of our pain rising to conscious awareness, the more we come to believe our distortions. To the degree that we believe our distortions we become deluded and the more challenging it becomes to trust anything other than our habitually resistant responses. Imbued in the pattern of resistance we obstruct the release of our pain and become a slave to the habituated mind rather than the master of it. When we allow our selves to be enslaved by tendencies that constitute forms of dangerous appetites, we deny and our denial is proportionate to the amount of self-love we have for ourselves. The more we love ourselves our lives reflect awareness and the less we tolerate self-abuse and abuse from others, but when love is not proportionate and does not reflect awareness we get caught in habituation and accept abuse into our lives. Veiled under the soot of our delusion is the essence of our essential self that waits to be uncovered.

We alone must decide when it is time to end the inner preoccupation of our negative emotional experiences and their psychological sufferings. Acceptance alone intends a new beginning and by choosing what is emotionally and spiritually healthy we empower ourselves, although challenging at times, the results far outweigh the difficulty of the initial choice of action. There comes a point, however, in our human panentheism that is our natural urge to evolve, when the heralding of choice is realized, and yet, that choice may be to continue the temporary escape of our selves’ through a plethora of distraction obliterating our spiritual voice to the eventual liberation of physical death. Running away from conflict only perpetuates the vicious cycle of addictive consciousness. It does not erase it, but rather postpones issues that must be faced later. “When will we change? Now or later?” is the question we must ask our selves and a choice we each must make!

It takes the courage of a warrior to uncover and transform our negative qualities into a mind free from constraint. My experience is “resolve to go deeper and deeper, truth above kindness and resolution over comfort,” this is the dedication necessary for such a task. There is bravery in those who are courageous enough to express their pain, their imperfections and not to give up on themselves when they see the reigning of their negative qualities upon their lives. Being in touch with our truthfulness dispels the fear of avoidance to be open with our feelings and provides a pathway to look at our emotional reactions and patterns with the full presence of awareness that is normally obscured by habits of inattention. For instance, frustrated desires, suppressed resentments, anger, greed, hatred and delusion are all emotional energy patterns of inattention that thwarts the root of our malaise, which usurps our life force creating emotional pain and discomfort. Instead of turning a blind eye, we might anticipate a look at how much of our waking energy is spent creating a breeding ground for these powerful reactionary emotional forces.

To uncover the painful experiences that lurk behind our deep self-loathing, our consumed guilt, mental anguish, anger and physical pain that we seek to avoid is a signal to our body that something is amiss within us, that there is something to understand that needs investigation. We adapt this attitude; we see the message of our emotional blocks as an opportunity to understand our selves rather than convey it as a threat. Even though from outside of ourselves, the reactionary effects of our clinging to patterns and habits are more familiar than the root of cause that resides tangled within us, we can stand back and see how our uncontrolled and uncoordinated emotional responses are effects to bring attention to soul growth. This gives us the ability to see them as opportunities that occur so that we may gradually evolve into a more coordinated, fused and blended personality–bringing awareness to the essence of our essential self.

The people with whom we surround ourselves, the quality of our thoughts, the intention behind our actions, the truth in our speech with that of our hearts is a mirror that reflects what we need to see about ourselves, in one another and what aspects within us that we are not at peace with. Essentially, what we need to bring change to. Giving our selves the freedom to challenge what needs shifting is a powerful agent for change and for the realization of our dreams. To be free in this sense is to venture seeing not only what is in the world, but what is possible for us!

By Alisa Battaglia, B.D., C.H.T., EFT, TH